I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
It's only 4 pm and I'm already way past my preferred quota of "could have died" moments
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
I'm going to have to start sleeping with my keys taped to my stomach.
He just texted me from the outside of the hospital. He called the fat broad in the bar mrs snuffleupagus about 60 times and she broke a bottle of blackberry brandy over his head.
The neighborhood kids rang the doorbell in the middle of my first bong rip to ask if they could use my trampoline for the thirtieth time today...I opened the door and pretended to puke up a shitload of smoke, I have never seen a more terrified group of children
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
When someone's woman crush wednesday is an ultrasound of her unborn daughter...
I can't
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
2020 sucks, I want a refund
Randomize
