Just transferred the sun chips from that obnoxious Eco-friendly bag into a zip lock. Fuck the environment, that bag is loud.
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
Pretty sure the girl next to me in Chipotle just came out to her mom.
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
Giving my coworkers lap dances cuz it was my turn to decide our team bonding exercise. Go happy hour!
IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
How much weight does it take to launch a cat using a trebuchet vs the tension required for a catapult?
I showed up to a job interview wearing two different shoes. If that's not an omen, I don't know what is.
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
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