we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
Come see our sink grown plant.
I just added 'steal mom's xanax' to my to do list for when I go home for Easter.
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
This morning I learned I traded my sunglasses for a Big Lebowski sticker at the football game.
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
Seriously you've eaten pizza pockets for every meal for the past 4 days
Well to be fair I wasn't alive for breakfast 2 out of 4 days
He said he was walking down to the White Castle for sliders, still drinking straight from a 750. He came back two hours later pushing a grocery cart that had two puppies in it.
The puppies promptly had the squirts all over the living room, as he had fed them the sliders.
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
How does it feel to date your dad?
Randomize
