They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
No, I left myself a half eaten cucumber and a beer next to my head, pointed at it and said 'you're breakfast' and then passed out.
Random memory from the wedding, the bartender showed us how to open the windows and piss out of them.
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
Soon to be ex is nowhere to be found. Her attorney/new BF just showed up. 30 minutes late looking hungover. Pretty sure I'm getting the kids AND the house!
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