I am slurping my drink like I am going to the electric chair
you're like a bully in the Christmas story
I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
Randomize
