very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
she pooped in my shower. pooped. woke me up and said she thought she farted but it wasnt a fart i went back 2 sleep and found it hours later. no longer hooking up w chicks my moms age.
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
Apparently Sundays are the worst days for your friends to get their head split open and need stitches...there's only 1 doctor on duty
I don't give a shit about soccer but I'm really excited about drinking at 7 in the morning
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
Randomize
