i don't plan on having that self control this summer
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
She was drunk and naked on our couch, sweating and masterbating to SNL. We made eye contact and she didn't even stop. It's new-roommate-o-clock
I doubt she'll sponsor it. You know alcohol and fireworks don't mix, right?
It's okay. We're not going to soak the fireworks in alcohol. The alcohol is for drinking.
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
Mom just sent me an email. The subject line is "How to avoid a urinary tract infection"
LET IT GO MOM
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
Was having relations of the behind variety with my girlfriend. Based on where we were at I could see myself in the bathroom mirror. You know I did the Patrick Bateman point and wink at the mirror and turned on sissudio by Phil Collins.
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
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