So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
I'm going to die alone in a sea of empty vodka bottles and cats.
He insisted that I looked like Kiefer Sutherland, told me he didn't know what to do about it, then hugged me awkwardly.
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
PS: I just woke up from my shower
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
I'm so horny right now but I JUST put my fuckin lasagna in the oven
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
Randomize
