Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
Question: If I woke up with one eyebrow mysteriously missing, do I shave the other one to match?
Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
There are 144 bottles of wine in my mother's pantry. She just shrugged her shoulders and said it was for the wine pong tournament on Christmas Day.
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
Vodka?
Forever.
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
How did you get him out of the shower last time?
Order Taco Bell and leave a trail of burritos leading to his bed.
Apparently mr clean magic erasers don't clean blood off the ceiling
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
Randomize
