good news, i'm not pregnant. bad news, i had sex with ***** last night and i think i'd rather be pregnant
just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
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