my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
I'm about one sudden movement away from being able to cross "throw up in a fortune 100 company's bathroom" off my bucket list.
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
I sent him this really overly apologetic text asking him out. It was just sad. Not even 27 shots of whiskey can grow me a self-esteem.
My gynecologist just said "don't worry, this won't be as hard as…well…" A FUCKING SEX JOKE NO
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
I'm gonna have to start putting baby wipes and a change of pants in my bag. The amount of times I'm scared of shitting my pants in public is too high and I need the reassurance
Randomize