So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
I just want you to know that I am dancing around my apartment by myself singing Taylor Swift into a wine bottle. Do hurry.
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
Turns out he's not a Doctor Who fan, I mumbled Alons-y as I went down on him. He asked who Alan was. No more drunk sex for me!
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
The selfie stick gets 5 stars bc it really added a fun element to my sex tape
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
Randomize
