This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
Just bought myself a coach diaper bag. I thought it would be perfect for school. the baby bottle holders are where i'm gonna put my booze
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
Some drunk guy thought my knee scooter was the sexiest thing he's ever seen. He then proceeded to ask me about duck hunting and decoys...
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
PSA. Do not shart while wearing a jock strap at work. That is all.
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