would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
I'm going to write a letter. It's going to say, Dear Every Girl Ever: Take some goddam initiative and wake me up with a blowjob and I will eat out of your hand. Love, Every Guy Ever
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
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