So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
An alarm set every 45 minutes saying "FATTY" and one every afternoon saying "CASPER" every day until spring break is a foolproof plan to being bikini ready
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
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