nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
Don't tell me 'the Fonzie' doesn't work. Went to see Shakespeare high and gave the sign to the dude playing Macbeth. Now at a cast party getting blown. All hail the Fonz.
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
I will consider today a failure if my nipple isn't bitten at least 😂
Oh is THAT how we're gonna play mini golf
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
