Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
Something about getting whistled at in my work clothes while crossing the street with three Nuvarings in my back pocket feels wrong.
They want yo temporarily sterile ass.
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
I just puked on a sprinkler…Motherfucker tried to spray me
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
Randomize
