C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
just cut a line with my blood donor card...i feel like it will help remind me that i was once a productive member of society.
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?"
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
She’s super into those renaissance faires. But, if you can’t actually stab anyone, what’s the point?
Randomize
