Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
just accidentally masturbated with tiger balm. best. accident. ever.
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
Went to an open-bar law school party and puked in front of Justice Scalia. My legal career is now complete -- I literally got judged by a U.S. Supreme Court Justice. Can't get any higher than that.
Hey man, sorry about punching you in the face, also about turning the shower on you. I just really wanted you to drink some water.
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
How did the date go? No fake eyeballs this time?
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
I just wrote a self loathing message to self, wrapped my credit card in it, put it in an envelope, sealed it with another hate messame, and put it in my lock box. So. That's where I'm at.
WTF. I was 99% sure I went straight home last night. I just woke up hugging a chair, and my tux pocket has a flask filled with what I think is red bull and gatorade. This has to be your doing.
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
Randomize
