i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
He just said he was the Jesus of alcoholics.
My walk of shame was far more interesting today. He's moving and was cleaning out his apartment, so not only was I carrying my clothes, I also walked away with 4 bottles of cheap wine and a jar of ragu.
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
He wasn't lying when he said he was immune to pepperspray. He pretended it burned for like 12 seconds and told the cops he was kidding he was alright. We'll be there soon.
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
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