how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
Sorry my hands just texted you
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
You called me into the kitchen so you could show me that you were peeing in the kitchen sink and then told me to leave bc you couldn't do it with me watching
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
I know its 2 in the morning and everything. But i just straight up yelled "DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND THIS WORLD IS DIFFICULT ENOUGH AS IT IS WITHOUT YOU PULLING THIS BULLSHIT ON ME" to my taco. Because it fell apart on me. I think i might be cracking under this finals pressure.
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
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