Duck Duck Cougar?
well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
On blowjobs: "If you decide to go there, you finish the job. No complaining." I don't care if it sounds like she's talking about Iraq, I'm in love.
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
Just bought plan B with a coupon. Told the pharmacist I like to keep it classy.
Every day you talk to me ... I literally love you more..
It got awkward when the girl working at planned parenthood continued to hit on me, after she knew about my STDs.
My mother walked into the bathroom at 345 am while I was splashing in the bathtub with the remnants of her birthday cake all over me... she looked at me and walked out...
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
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