I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
you told the cop you blew a .08 because you ate poppy seeds
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
I just gargled with NyQuil
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
but dude how did I get so drunk?
Pretty sure it happened right after you poured a shot of Wild Turkey into your Budweiser, chugged it, and screamed "I. NEVER. BACK. DOWN!"
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
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