And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
Sex has been so nonexistent lately that when I was masturbating the other day, I actually paused to yawn.
I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
You were telling me to give my phone mouth to mouth so it wouldn't die.. Should i be worried for you?
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated?
Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake...
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
Meeting girls and telling em you have no hair on your calves is not an acceptable pick up line
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
Randomize
