So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
Is there a card that says "Sorry I got drunk at your Christmas party and tried to steal your monogrammed hand towels so that I could give you something nice for Christmas"?
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
The date did not go well. Turns out I once set her brother on fire.
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
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