I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
Please come and kill me with a brick you dont even have to be nice about it just smash myfucking skull in this is the worst hangover ive had for at least a week
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
Randomize
