According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
Currently standing on top of my parents leather couch with no pants on playing helicoptor with my penis. You?
halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
Did my married ex-boyfriend really tell me that he prays for me? Fucking Judas
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
Randomize
