You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
My mom just said we can't get married in nude body suits to look like earthworms. She's ruining my life.
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
I'm disgusted with myself. Who goes down on their Uber driver? This asshole
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
Randomize
