So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
So I have exactly 420 dollars saved up in tips from the past week. I win, and I take that as a sign from god that I am allowed to use that money to buy drugs.
im having a threesome with these popsicles
I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
Found: medium sized pair of mens pants tucked inside my purse w/ a dry cleaners coupon in left pocket. Call if you wish to claim the coupon
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
I'm drunkenly throwing popcorn at a spider, fuck him. Why does his scary 8 legs get to be happy?
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
Randomize
