The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
My roommate was being an ass so I put everyone's drinks/shots on his tab for the entire night. Then when we left he was telling me how he got out cheaper than last time.
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
Randomize
