We named our party play list daddy issues
At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
OMGGG I JUST SAW A REAL OWL JUST CHILLING ON TOP OF A SIGN POST. I WALKED UP TO HIM AND SAID HOO HOOOOO AND HE TURNED HIS HEAD AT ME AND WAS LIKE YEAHHH BRO
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
Just got a Snapchat of his dick with the caption 'We miss you.'
That's true love, there.
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
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