at this rate if someone im actually interested in likes me back im going to die of surprise before i even get to make out with them
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
You just stood up, raised your glass and said, "I'd like to thank the academy" then fell through a glass table. THAT'S why we cut you off.
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
She had YOLO tattooed on her ass. Like, one cheek said YO, the other said LO. Even I can't handle that level of hot mess.
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
I sliced my fucking arm open last night after margarita madness and had to drive myself to the ER. Got six stitches and a social worker came in and asked if I was abused due to my sex bruises. I literally had to tell her "don't worry, I like it rough"
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
we're so committed to being not committed
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
Randomize
