I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
She looked at me and said "i like penises." and then passed out with her condom balloon animal in her hands.
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
Tequila, beer, rum, gin, and vodka all mixed in my body last night. The whole "never turn down free booze" is catching up to me. Hungover = understatement of the year.
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
There is a Victoria's Secret pageant on right now with Taylor Swift singing in lingerie. I didn't know a penis could get this erect.
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
Randomize
