Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
I asked a girl to buy her a drink, she had I have a boyfriend, so I said, well i have a goldfish, she said what? I replied, oh I'm sorry I thought we were talking about shit that doesnt matter.
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
I've been asked to reupholster their slam-couch so I found some off-cuts of medical-grade, hermetically sealed fabric. She'll be slammed upon for generations to come.
omg sorry but i tried to stop you when you were at your drunk limit but i took my eyes off you for like 2 seconds and you suddenly appeared with hard liquor in both hands for yourself and downed them and it was downhill from there
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
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