I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
Walk of Shame. In a state park.
i'm like carrie bradshaw but prettier and with a penis
you were almost asleep and mumbling "your penis is on my cheek"
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
I'm over here trying to figure out how to get shake shack delivered to my bed and Jamie is having a child
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
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