Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
i just checked to make sure valentines day this year was on a weekend assuming ill want to be drunk all day
hearing about your life makes me feel so good about mine
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
Dear Douchebag, I would just like to formally issue this fuck you. You will be receiving a letter in the mail soon. With all of your stuff.
Randomize
