Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
I'm drunk enough to talk Barbara Walters outta her panties
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
Yes. No, I'm basically a superhero but with drugs. I'm robin hood. I steal from the rich (insurance and drug companies) and give to the poor (everyone I know).
It's a "nonproductive" (vocab word) cough. It's like a constant tickle in my throat, like there's a little elf with feathers for feet going Gangnam style on my "uvula" (vocab word).
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
Uhm... Found a ziploc bag... In the freezer. Sam, thought it was lemonade. Why did you make frozen piss at my house, again?
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
I know it's super late on a work night, but can you drop by and bend me over my new motorcycle? I have tequila and tacos...
Randomize
