i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
Turns out he's not gay. He just didn't know how else to say he's not into me. He just hit on my sister.
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
I'm never drinking again. I saw way more penises than I ever cared to see last night. And I've decided that I'm going to live in Scotland.
I need an explanation for both of these epiphanies.
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
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