the guy I was hooking up with asked me if he could wear a guerilla suit during sex.
Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
Somedays I wish I were a bird. Then people wouldn't be so grossed out when I vomit
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
Im sleeping in your bed. Sorry for the sand and the noise and the loud people. Im starving
Your blankets are not drunk friendly
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
My sister was not impressed when she got here. I was standing in the doorway in my underwear drinking a beer. At 2pm. On a Monday.
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
What kind of present accurately says to my male suitemate "I'm sorry that I accidentally flashed you my vagina while I was super drunk"?
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
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