Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
I just miserably failed my own drug test. At least I know what a positive will look like when I give them to the employees tomorrow.
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
Well I found you sipping ron diaz out of a child's dinosaur cup while sticking your fingers in the guy's fish tank and watching the "pirahnas" snap at your finger and laughing
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
There's a 35% chance I'm still residually drunk from last night.
And you say you're not good with numbers...
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
hot take: drunk me can walk through walls?
I smell Vodka. It's me. If anyone asks it's totally hand sanitizer.
Randomize
