omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
headbutted the bartender, tried to bite the bouncer, and pissed on a cops shoes. and i still got laid. god, it's good to be home
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
Some old bald man is a 100,000 dollar Audi sports car just revved his engine at me and held out his phone at me trying to get my number. I hate the valley.
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
Randomize
