She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
We stayed in and smoked weed and watched Dreamgirls. We made each other's vaginal lips sing the songs. Mine was Beyonce, hers was Jamie Foxx. I think this is one of those times you're jealous you're not an awesome lesbian.
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
I'm at work, and just realized I the beer smell I keep getting random whiffs of is my bra. I fail at life.
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
Randomize
