Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
You called information & said "connect me to johnny depp" when they told u it wasn't listed u said " try depp comma johnny he's expecting my call"
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
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