He asked to "fluff my boner.."
Fyi: he's overweight and balding. My biological clock is ticking so loud I can't hear the TV.
It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
Leaving someone plastered on a corner at 3am telling them to just scream for cock is NOT being a good wingman.
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
did i just see you in the movie theater carrying a margarita into Frozen?
All the 6 year olds are jealous of my alcohol
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
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