yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
I'm not sure what is worse, the fact that Hoffman doesn't sell vodka before 9am or that I was trying to buy vodka at 8:30am.
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
It gave me the St Patrick's Day nickname Slutty McShitfaced. I've never felt so understood.
You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
I wouldn't marry anyone who wouldn't symbolically fuck a doughnut with a sausage though.
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
She took me to ER. She says thought it was a squirtgun filled with vodka and she was 'marking me for later.' Thank god it's a flesh wound, and we're cool and going to date.
gtg, the cops are here
Randomize
