i just spit dirty mouth water on my dentist. and apparently grinning sheepishly and saying "my b" doesn't make it better
it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
SITTING NEXT TO A CIRCUS PERFORMER AT PLANNED PARENTHOOD. THIS IS MY LIFE.
My breasts were aching with rage.
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
He ate me out while I finished season 1 of Stranger Things. If that's not a modern day relationship goal, then I don't know what is.
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
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