I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
I'm going to text my booty call and tell him nevermind, that I got the job finished by myself. That will teach him to text back faster.
This lesson is brought you by a psychology class.
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
I found more straws in my beard this morning. Please stop doing that.
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
Randomize