He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
I hope the kids appreciate the fact that I jizzed on her instead of on their slide.
Your mom can still drink beer standing on her head! Talk to you tomorrow :)
Mom wtf!?
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
I'm at about main and main street
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
I'm currently trying to figure out a way to fill the bathtub up with mashed potatoes so when he comes over he'll know what's about to hit him..
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
You know you've made it in life when the people in the next stall are cheering on your orgasm
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
Randomize
