they found her hiding behind the couch trying to feed a cabbage patch doll a bottle of tequila. please tell me she's on birth control.
Holy shit. Do you realize what this means? Officially all of my ex-bfs are either dead or gay
There's something really special about 3:00 in the afternoon drunk that just can't be duplicated at any other time of day.
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
His wedding band got caught on my nipple ring and that's how I realized he was married
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
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