I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities
i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
I think there's an ice cream truck out back, but there's no way I can get pants on in time to catch it
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
So about that you can bill me for the chair but it was David's idea to jump from the window sill into the washer with "clothing pillows of cloudiness" to land on to get ahold of him you have to phone his mother
I just talked to her she really hates you like a lot
Randomize
