I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
So my grandma sent me a doily for my birthday - don't ask why, I don't know. Anyways I put my bong on it, I think it actually classed up the joint.
i think i gave myself a perma-hangover. or god just hates me.
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
So like 5 seconds in I realize I knew him in 3rd grade and I went limp in his mouth. It felt like I just murdered the last unicorn ever. Going straight never felt like an option till now.
My bed is full of blood and feathers
So I come back home and a huge flock of enormous vultures are on my roof
They're waiting for you to die
So I've discovered that being hungover at 25 feels the same as being hungover at 24. Happy Birthday to me.
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
Randomize
