i'm only drinking out of pineapples from now on.
I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
I fell asleep giving a handjob, had a sex dream about giving a handjob, and woke up giving a handjob. Life.
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
Randomize
