There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
Just woke up and my doorbell is on my nightstand... the fuck?
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
THERE IS A VERY SMALL CHILD YELLING OUTSIDE OF MY DOOR. THE NEXT TIME YOU TELL ME YOUR TOO BIG FOR A CONDOM I'M GOING TO PUNCH YOU IN THE DICK.
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
Literally I woke up the other day and the girl part of me was like “GET CUFFED MOTHERFUCKER” and I went ham on tinder.
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
Randomize
