and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
There's a skateboard on the patio and all the chips are gone. The note on the fridge says 'don't buy cheese'. Stop letting her go outside.
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
How external is "for external use only"?
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
He tried to do the do on me last night and my exact words were "stay away from my princess parts. they're renovating."
Please come over here so I can show off my beard, talk to you about how quantum computing is actually a symptom of interstellar physics, and then put my head under your dress
They are going to name an STD after you.
I made a White Russian but saw how early it was and decided to substitute it for milk in my lucky charms. This is what it means to be an adult.
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
Randomize
