maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
I'm calling into work with a wicked case of sledge hammer crotch. She has to understand
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
I just heard a 350 lb guy with a stutter describe getting blood in his eye as he was shanking his cellmate and, more generally, how to survive as a white guy in jail.\n\nYou should really consider going to some AA meetings
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
My mom is worried I'm not eating enough protein so she's sending me 48 cans of tuna. That's not a typo.
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
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