Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
Im playing the how drunk can i get before my card declines game. being single sucks. But getting drunk after work alone in fridays on a wenesday night sucks way more.
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
One day, tell me please to stop buying shots when I'm overwhelmed. I might have just broken a tooth
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
if a CSI technician examined our hotel room with a black light he'd think we hit the Pulse button a DNA blender without a lid
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
Pro tip: When you spend the afternoon banging your boss, don’t meet your mother-in-law for dinner if you still smell like cum and watermelon flavored lube
Randomize
