If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
You can't date a girl from every country.
I'm the captain planet of women
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
She sent me a video of herself sitting in the car stone faced listening to the Titanic song on silence. She won't answer my texts.
Randomize
