At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
I drunk-cried for all conjoined twins everywhere the other day.
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
Two women at the Safeway just got out of their separate cars and kissed. One was driving an outback, the other a CRV. It was like a Honda and Subaru had a lesbian joint venture and filmed the commercial in front of me.
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
This guy is trying to get me to do some acrobatic gymnast shit just so he can see "my tight hole." I'm too big to be sweating in my own damn bed. Shittttt.
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
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