i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
I just got a standing ovation when i made it to work on New Years Day. good thing?
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
Hit on in the middle of a Wal-Mart McDonald's by a really awkward nerd. There is not enough nope in the world.
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
I'm actually on the verge of cancelling a booty call because I have an early meeting tomorrow. If this is what adulthood is going to be like, I'll pass.
Dude. Don't do acid and go to Disney on ice. Hear my warnings. That snow monster will fuck your shit up.
Randomize
