Ok let me ask a question, does aderall make women less apt to have sex?
Cause it just destroys penises
Was that inappropriate? I can't gauge these things anymore
Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
Well, I found the missing blow... in my fucking suitcase... THIS MORNING. Yeah, I flew from FL to NY with blow in my suitcase yesterday.
I told you to check, dude
Yeah, AFTER I checked my bag and I was already sitting on a plane. Oh well. I figured worst case I'd do like 15 hours in county and I was totally prepared for that anyways. I always prepare for that when we hang out.
You yelled "NICE PAJAMAS" at a construction worker wearing a reflective jumpsuit while we rode past on a bike taxi
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
Randomize
