Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
Randomize
